Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
