Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
