I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
