You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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