As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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