I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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