I'm drive I can fine osifer
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I enjoy the company of your penis
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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