grandma shit on top of the toilet
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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