Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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