All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
