You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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