Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
ttyl tear gas
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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