you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Randomize
