He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Randomize
