I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
