my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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