Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Randomize
