Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Someone signed my nipple.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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