you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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