just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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