Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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