He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
