"it" just moved
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
