i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
