508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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