bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
