I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
