I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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