I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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