So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
