We're like a lot better than the average bears
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
