Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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