Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
