lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize