we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
