when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
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