We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
