tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
