**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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