Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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