I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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