i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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