It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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