If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
