summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
