We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize