So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
