who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize