i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
