wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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