hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
