Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
