It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
