i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize