this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
