As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
