last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
