The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
