some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
