I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize