he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
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