My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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