I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
