Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
